I had always dreamed about being a SAHM. What could be better than spending every waking moment with your tiny little you to hug on all day? Well, my dream became a reality when I was able to transition from my f/t job to a p/t work from home position. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, I had always heard the SAHM/WAHM job was hard but coming from a demanding full-time job, it had to be cake right? WRONG! It’s harder. The first few months were tiring but all in all great. I didn’t have a schedule, R as a baby slept alot, which meant more naps for the tired new mama. I didn’t care about the housework because hey, I just had a baby, that was my excuse right? Well that lasted for just a few months until one day I began suddenly feeling lost. The lack of routine and structure began to get to me. I would drag myself out of bed each day not knowing what the day would bring other than some diaper changes and cleaning up baby food. I knew my full-time job now was to raise R but it was very different than what I was used to. I used to get up every day at the same time, have my coffee in the breakroom, go out to lunch and have some grown up conversations with my coworkers. Now, I wake up at odd hours, still exhausted after sleeping and with no one to talk to except some new little person who had no clue what I was saying. Although I was still working, it just wasn’t the same. I didn’t have a reason to get up each day to do my hair and get dressed. I remember having feelings of boredom, a sense of being unaccomplished, falling behind and then feeling like I wasn’t a good mother because of it.
After sometime I found myself on some SAHM/WAHM online communities and I realized what I was lacking. I needed to set some expectations for myself. I needed a schedule and a routine that could help me to remember to fit in breakfast, nap time, play time, dinner and yes, in the middle of all that, try to find the time to work 4 hours a day and maybe even schedule some ME time. Once I got into somewhat of a routine I felt much more accomplished. I managed my time better, I was able to get in a load of laundry a day, dishes done, R started going to bed around the same time each night which gave me a few hours to myself to either catch up on some work. I began to see the light, the hour or two break I could look forward to each day to do what I needed to do.
My WAHM schedule changed my life completely. I realized that having a few things to look forward to everyday made me happier. My schedule is never the same everyday, and I can never stick to a strict routine. There are still days where I wake up and do not want to do anything except play with my daughter all day or get out of the house. And all of that is ok because there is always tomorrow. But what I’ve realized is that I’m a better mom because of it and my daughter is one happy girl because mommy is a happy mommy now. You can’t forget to take time for yourself each day, or even if it’s only a few hours a week. You need YOU time, even if you need to schedule it.
SAHM/WAHM’s do you remember the feelings of isolation that came with staying at home with a small, needy, crying baby you were handed at the hospital? What did you do to help you through the transition?